Valium, sweet valium

So I'm 10 days out of surgery. Expander is out, port is out, implant is in! I stayed home from work all last week and mostly self-medicated and slept. It's not terribly painful to be honest; I have not really been using the percocet. I'm more stiff and sore - enter the valium - which in my opinion should totally be over the counter. I think, if I understand correctly, that the implant goes under your chest muscle and since valium is a muscle relaxant it just helps to loosen everything up. It also has the added bonus of making you sleepy so I am actually sleeping through the night which has been a problem with all those damn hot flashes from the Tamoxifen, but I digress...

Anyway, I had my post-op with the plastic surgeon and he said everything looked "normal". I think it actually looks pretty hideous with the scars opened up again and the stitches hanging off waiting to dissolve, but this is why I'm not in the medical profession. I try not to look. I have to sleep upright, where a sports bra 24-7, and no heavy lifting or bouncing for awhile. The only glitch in that little scenario is my 30lb G-ski, but we took the front rail off his crib, gave him a stepstool to climb into his carseat, and diaper changes are now on the floor. Poor little guy keeps raising his hands saying "up, up" and C wants to know when my "arm" is going to be better so it won't hurt to pull on it when we're holding hands. Hopefully soon, little men!

I also had my post-op check with my oncologist who has been monitoring the wbc counts. As I mentioned, they sky-rocketed to the 14's after a week of the Neupogen shots, but when I went in for labs yesterday (9 days after the last one) I was back in the 3's again. Argh - so depressing. This means more shots to lower the risk of infection while I heal. I had one yesterday, one today, and will have 2 or 3 next week. I have to tell you this whole neutropenia thing is really stressing me out. My oncologist says she isn't worried. I'm only "mildly" neutropenic. So what does that mean for the rest of my life? I'll have to wear a face mask and live in a bubble during flu season? I am so ready for all of this to be over.  Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take a valium and go to bed.