The New Me

So, I'm three months post-chemo and things are starting to come back, but it's hard to say if my new normal will be transitory or enduring. My red blood cell count/hemoglobin isn't entirely back to normal range, but I'm no longer winded during simple physical activity and my runs are now up to 4 miles, though not as speedy as I would like. I lost about half the volume of my eyebrows and eyelashes and those are just starting to return as well. My fingernails are getting harder and are almost back to normal. I thought for sure I was going to lose a couple, but they hung in there. My hair is darker and a weird fuzzball texture that reminds me of moss. I've just this week started to go bare-headed in the neighbourhood, but I still wear my wig for work and venturing out in the company of others. I'll probably just have to bite the bullet and give it up entirely soon as I think my hair is going to start peeking out.

The pills (Tamoxifen) that I am on for five years are indeed giving me hot flashes. I don't break out in a sweat or anything, it's more what I describe as "hot-cold" syndrome where I can't seem to find a comfortable temperature. I take off the sweater, I put it on... I wonder if my body will eventually get used to the drug or if it will continue for all five years. As far as side effects go it's really not that big of a deal. After surviving chemo it seems almost trivial. There are times, however, when I feel like I still have "chemo brain", where I can't remember a name or feel like a word is just on the tip of my tongue. It's possible I'm just making excuses for my bad memory, but I swear it has happened more often than it did pre-cancer. Maybe I need to start doing brain exercises.