On a positive note, I also had my last visit yesterday with my plastic surgeon until after chemo, which should help ease a lot of the pain and stiffness from the expansions. Now I can just let the tissue heal and expand on its own, until he does the final swap for the implant approximately one month post-chemo (once I have "recovered" from that). Hopefully my temporary break-up with my plastic surgeon will allow me to spend some quality time with my physiotherapist so she can be more successful in breaking up the scar tissue in my arm and regaining some of my range of motion.And finally, inevitably, my scalp is starting to get sensitive and itchy. Yes, I know what this means. Everyone has been telling me that my hair is going to start falling out about 2 weeks into chemo. That's this coming Monday. I've been trying not to brush it or do much with it, but I really doubt it will make any difference whatsoever. I've been debating what to tell C. Do I just tell him I'm cutting my hair and don't go into the details, or do I tell him I'm sick and that my hair is going to fall out and be gone for awhile? I just worry about freaking him out. He's pretty much oblivious to everything so far, other than I have a sore side and eat more "vitamins" than I used to. It's funny that hair has played such a prominent role in my posts; it really seems rather trivial when you think about everything else that's going on. Yet, I've read that for many women, losing their hair was one of the most traumatic events in their cancer experience. For me, it just strips me of all privacy. Maybe I don't want the cashier at Target to know I have cancer, then again, maybe I won't care.
*sigh* I'm not sure there is a right or wrong approach to this one but I can see how there would be pros and cons to each.
ReplyDeleteA friend of mine was telling me about her aunt who went through a similar scenario and had two kids; 3 & 7. She said the kids were able to pick up on non-verbal cues in their household about what was going on and she was worried that it would be stressful for them to not understand what was going on. She opted to explain her sickness to them in a way they could understand and then allowed them to come to one of her doctor's appointments to ask questions of the doctor if they wanted to (she had given a heads-up to the doctor beforehand and her doctor was very good with kids). Also, she had THEM cut her hair and it was a blast! She decided to shave it off instead of have it fall off in clumps and the kids trimmed it down and then helped buzz cut her head.
Just wanted to share her experience with you. Obviously this approach wouldn't be right for everyone, but I thought it was interesting. Whatever you decide, you know C best and know what he can handle. ((hug))
Glad you are feeling better! Hmmm, about C...I feel like he might be a little unsure at first, and then just get used to it and forget all about it. With him being young, he will quickly adapt and the new haircut will become the new norm. Or just go buy a batman mask... :)
ReplyDeleteYou will know what to do, as you know C best. Thanks for doing this, Michelle, it sure keeps us informed. It is comforting to read about just how well supported you are. Keep up the strength!!
ReplyDeleteYC and AK
Kids are amazing, resilient, and intuitive. Whatever you decide, tell C what he needs to know and provide answers to his questions. As adults we tend to want every detail, which is why so many of us are faithfully reading your blog; kids usually just want to know "enough". When the time comes, you will know what to say and how much to tell.
ReplyDeleteLove to all of you and happy belated to John.
The advice I got about telling kids is that they will sense that something is going on, and if you are not upfront about what it is, they will create a scenario that might be worse than what's actually happening. When Joey was almost 4 and we had not yet told him about my cancer, he woke in the night at one point, came into our room, and said, "I had a dream mommy's head exploded." We told him shortly after that -- in kid terms, of course, and I think I've told you already, but we shared that I had a boo-boo in my boobie, that a doctor would remove it, I would take medicine, my hair would fall out, then I would get better. That's just how it happened. Now, he is 11, and, truthfully, he has not much memory of that period in our lives. You will find a way to break it to him, and when you do, I bet he will help you heal n ways you never imagined possible!
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Jacki
Oh Mich! First, congratulations on getting through the first round. I am glad that your symptoms were manageable and that you are back in the swing of things.
ReplyDeleteI remember when Halden's hair started to fall out. He decided to "beat the chemo to the punch" and shave it off. We too decided to have a head shaving "party" and one of his friends shaved his own head with him. I do think it is easier for men though because it is more common for men to have a bald head. But, I wonder if by blogging your battle, you are already opening yourself up...losing privacy, on your own terms, that maybe it won't be quite so tough to be visibly fighting cancer. You are Amazing!
Not all that long ago (maybe a couple of years) we were going through Owens baby albums and he asked about Halden's hair (lack there of). We simply explained that Halden had cancer (he had heard the word before, even by age 6) and that the medicine that he had to take had a "funny" side effect, it made his hair fall out. He had loads of questions, we answered them honestly, but simply.
I agree with all the posts here about you knowing your child best. I truly believe that! Each child is different. Some need great detail, others need little information at all.
Good luck! The Johnson 5 are rooting for you!
Glad you have got over the hump (hopefully!). I liked Jacki's post; it seemed to answer simply and to the point, which a young kid could understand easily and not spend much more time thinking about. I am also SURE that C would love helping shave Mommy's head!!! He would probably remember that far better than any questions he had about why you did it.
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