Chemo - Round One

And we're off!  So, as someone wisely wrote me, the scariest part of the chemo is the fear leading up to it and not knowing what to expect.  So true.  I took my pre-chemo day steroids and drank at least the prerequisite 64 oz of water on Sunday, but I was still up pretty much all night worrying about it, and in the end it wasn't as upsetting or depressing as I had imagined.  You are basically set up in pods of four with one nurse responsible for each pod.  Luckily I was the first person in, so I got to ask my nurse a million questions before anyone else got there.  My particular drugs are all fortunately clear in colour, so I was happy not to have to see some red or blue nastiness coming down the iv into me.  The nurse said that one blue drug can actually turn the irises of your eyes slightly blue temporarily after treatment - yuk.  And, despite the fact that the port still kind of grosses me out, it made the whole IV thing pretty painless.  (I'm sure the pound of numbing cream I smeared on it the hour prior had a little something to do with it).  Jen - here is a pic of the port/iv system for you!  It just plugs right in there. 

To be honest, it's actually quite relaxing.  It did take 5 1/2 hours for the infusion, but they have wi-fi access, a TV you can watch with headphones, kitchen, guest chairs...  The first treatment or "loader dose" is the longest, so my next round should be more like 4 1/2 hours.  John came and hung out with me for this first time and was even able to get some work done.  As people started filtering in, most just worked on computers, read books, listened to music, or slept.  I was so tired from the night before, I slept for about an hour myself.  At one point a volunteer even came in with this psychedelic guitar and was serenading each pod.  He just travels around the country singing at chemo centers.  He said he spent a year "in the chair" himself and just wanted to share the love.  He handed out free cd's to everyone and said to download and share with whoever we like.  I don't know how he makes any money doing any of this, and apparently he is married with three children under ten, but it's pretty impressive.  I got a special song for being a first timer.  One old man even got up and was dancing with one of the nurses with his IV pole. 

Thanks so much to everyone who sent me encouraging messages throughout the day, including Jacki's "chemo angels".  My new e-pal Jacki asked her friends to send me some words of wisdom, so I received little notes of inspiration and helpful hints from her network of friends across the U.S. as well.  I am feeling very humbled by everyone's kindness I must say.  I had so many messages I'm still catching up on emails, because of course, as soon as we got home, collected the kids, and ate dinner I was off to a class at Life with Cancer called Look Good, Feel Better.  It just so happened that their course offering for this month was my first day of chemo, but I figured I'd better get in there because the next one wasn't for another month and I'd already be hairless and hideous well before that.

It was actually a really helpful class.  In addition to a free bag of make-up, a trained make-up artist gave us tips on how to highlight your eye lids when you lose your lashes and pencil on eye brows, and basically best accentuate your features when you look/feel less than stellar.  She kept mentioning that she worked for Bobbi Brown (I later discovered this was not the the Bobby Brown I was envisioning in parachute pants singing My Prerogative) so I was a little confused by her choice of endorsement for a while.  Anyway, I don't wear much make-up, and sunscreen and chapstick apparently don't count, (trust me, my sister has been trying to turn me into a girl for years) so I definitely found it useful. 

And that was my first day of chemo.  Other than the fatigue from lack of sleep the night before, I really didn't really feel any different than when I arrived.  I keep hearing that you start feeling more of the side effects around day 3, so again more anxiety about what's to come.  Tomorrow may still be a bit of a rough day though I would expect.  I have to go in for what's called a Neulasta shot in the morning to boost my white blood cells and help out my immune system while the chemicals in my body are killing everything.  Because it basically works its way through your bone marrow, it can cause bone aches in some people.  I also have another injection with my plastic surgeon in the afternoon, followed by a physical therapy session.  There's really not much time for convalescing in this whole process is there?!